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FREE Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences Training

January 2, 2020 By Dee Leave a Comment

Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) gave me a deeper understanding of trauma related addiction, and there are several FREE trainings coming up:

January 30,  9:00 – 1:00
RACSB at River Club
10825 Tidewater Trail Fredericksburg, VA 22408
TO REGISTER CLICK HERE
There will also be trainings April 22nd, July 22nd, and October 21st.  Use the link above to register for any of these dates.

Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACEs cause toxic stress and can harm the developing brain of children. This changes how children respond to stress and has lasting effects into adulthood. We now know that this trauma also can damage our immune systems and lead to chronic health concerns like substance abuse and mental health challenges. ACEs are related to violence and other social concerns.
Training participants will gain a better understanding of what is trauma and how it affects our biology. This knowledge can help facilitate important community conversations to prevent high ACE scores and to support individuals with ACE scores.
The training is provided by the Rappahannock Area Community Services Board and is funded in part through the Family Wellness Initiative of the Office of Behavioral Health and Wellness at the Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services.

Contact Jennifer Bateman (540) 374-3337, ext. 100, or jbateman@rappahanockareacsb.org

Filed Under: Our Blog Tagged With: adverse childhood experiences, events, training

Opioid Ripples: Part 4

November 12, 2019 By Dee Leave a Comment

Stigma still stymies some efforts
in opioid battle

Not even death ends the ripple effects of stigma,
In some ways – it’s even intensified.

The last installation in this 4 part series focuses on stigma and how it affects those in recovery and their families.
I was thankful to be a part of it, and help spread awareness that this stigma still continues for family members even after an overdose death has occurred.  

Read the article at Fauquier Now or read PDFs of the entire series from the
Piedmont Journalism Foundation

 

Filed Under: Featured Posts, In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: addiction, death, Fauquier Now, grief, Opioid Ripples, overdose, Piedmont Journalism Foundation, stigma

Running For Their Lives

September 6, 2019 By Dee Leave a Comment

Come As You Are (CAYA) hosts their annual RUN FOR YOUR LIFE 5K

The Fauquier Times ran a piece highlighting some of the reasons why this 5K is so important.  The race raises awareness to the lives we’ve lost to our addiction epidemic, and shares that hope and help are available.  Both my Joe and his friend Isaac were remembered and we are grateful their stories can be used to help others.

Come out to the race Saturday September 21st and help us Run For Their Lives!
Read the remembrances and more about the 5K:  Running For Their Lives

Run for Joe

8/8/2019      Joe Fleming was the life of the party. This tender-hearted young man, whose 25th birthday would be in three days on August 11, used his wit and humor as a mask to cover underlying depression.
His humor was also a source of frustration for his three brothers, “Joe would always make me laugh about whatever it was that he did wrong and it got him out of a lot of trouble,” recalls his mother Dee.
The outdoorsman had a healthy relationship with nature. Joe was a hunter but also cared deeply for wounded animals. “Joe had a deep respect for nature. He would hunt for deer meat, but if he found a wounded animal, he felt compelled to care for it and nurse it back to health,” Dee explains of the bunnies, birds and dogs that Joe would come home with.
While he didn’t fit the image that most people have of a Christian with his beard and camouflage, Joe lived the life of a Christian and was always looking out for his fellow man. “Joe would befriend anyone who appeared to be lonely and help those in need however he could,” says Dee.
Home-schooled through high school, Joe was involved with sports and loved the routine and schedule of football and rugby. He felt lost and overwhelmed when the regimented schedule ended after high school and he looked to his future that was yet unwritten. He worked in a warehouse and used his time off to work part time at Buffalo Wild Wings.
While still in high school, Joe suffered football injuries that were managed with opioids. These prescription drugs introduced him to the feeling of not feeling. After he recovered from his injuries, he began to drink heavily and smoke pot to cope with his anxiety and depression. Nearly a year after Joe moved out of his home, he overdosed on a combination of cocaine and fentanyl; just 84 hours after his best friend died from an overdose. “I stood at his friend’s viewing to give my condolences while my son’s body lay on the other side of the wall,” recalls Dee of the surreal moment.
Since Joe’s death, his family has become outspoken advocates of eliminating the stigma of addiction disorders and implore families to have open conversations with their children about healthy coping skills for depression and anxiety.
“Even if I knew the outcome, I would still choose to be Joe’s mother,” says Dee of the loss of her entertaining son.
What are coping skills?
We often talk about making sure youth have coping skills for anxiety and depression. But what are some examples of those coping skills? The following list was complied with input from members of the community and is not intended to replace professional advice. If you or someone you know is overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety and/or depression, please seek professional help.
  • Becoming involved with a sport or other fitness
  • Trusting an adult to be a confidant
  • Journaling and sharing it with a trusted adult
  • Meditating
  • Spending time in nature, with a pet or horse (pet therapy)
  • Engaging the guidance department at school
  • Sticking to a schedule or routine
  • Taking a break from social media
  • Reading books with characters in similar situations
  • Receiving acupuncture

Filed Under: In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: addiction, awareness, hope, overdose, resources

Care Talks – Coping with Grief: Dee Fleming

June 1, 2019 By Dee Leave a Comment

The McShin Foundation in Richmond hosts monthly CARE TALKS.
This months topic was Coping With Grief.  Myself and my friend Betty Ramsburg had the privelage of sharing.  For Joe – and for all those still fighting.

Filed Under: Featured Posts, Our Blog Tagged With: coping, death, grief, overdose

Care Talks – Coping with Grief: Betty Ramsburg

May 31, 2019 By Dee Leave a Comment

The McShin Foundation in Richmond hosts monthly CARE TALKS.
This months topic was Coping With Grief.  My friend Betty Ramsburg shared about losing her son Travis. She has since worked with the Fauquier County Sheriff’s Department to create the Travis Project which equips their officers with Narcan. What a warrior she is!

Filed Under: In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: coping, death, grief, overdose

McShin Care Talks: Coping With Grief

May 30, 2019 By Dee Leave a Comment

I cannot wait for tomorrow night’s Care Talks.  The topic will be “Coping With Grief” and my friend Betty and I will be traveling to Richmond to share about coping with loss and solutions to addiction. Come out if you can!

Filed Under: In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: addiction, Care Talks, death, grief, McShin

Culpeper Overdose Awareness Participates in Awareness Campaign

March 30, 2019 By Dee Leave a Comment

New police video raises awareness
of area drug crisis

A new hard-hitting short video by the Culpeper Police Department, viewer discretion advised, emphasizes the life-and-death nature of the ongoing drug crisis with its actual body cam footage of a man overdosed on a bathroom floor. Culpeper Police Captain Timothy Chilton is featured next, commenting on the “staggering” level of opioid overdoses in the last few years.

“The heroin crisis has certainly claimed many lives in our community and has forever changed many families,” states Police Chief Chris Jenkins. “The Culpeper Police Department is committed in our efforts to combat this deadly opiate public health crisis. We will continue to provide prevention, education and enforcement and use all available resources at our disposal to fight against this epidemic.” [Read more…] about Culpeper Overdose Awareness Participates in Awareness Campaign

Filed Under: In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: addiction, awareness, Culpeper, death, grief, overdose, video

Death Certificates Don’t Lie

July 31, 2018 By Dee Leave a Comment

Overall fatal drug overdoses decline,
but cocaine and methamphetamine
deaths climb

DEATH CERTIFICATES DON’T LIE

Joseph Fleming’s death certificate

When people hear that my son died of cocaine/fentanyl poisoning, many are hesitant to believe it.
“Are you sure?”
“That doesn’t make sense, one is a
stimulant and the other is a depressant”

“That must not be right.”
I’ve heard it all.

I was not there when Joe died, and I am no doctor, but I know this . . .
Joe’s toxicology results tell a story.
They tell a story of his last hours.
A story I have no other way of knowing because no one is talking – not to me at least.
This is all I have – the pure medical science of it.
A beautiful life condensed to a sheet of paper full of nonsensical numbers, sent to me in the mail by strangers who never even touched his body.

Did you know they don’t even bother doing autopsies on these deaths anymore?  Apparently,
the cost is too great – the backlog too enormous – the results assumably known.

Oh, that not one more will die Lord.
That not one more family with know these awful truths.
That is my prayer.  But I know in this fallen world – I ask the impossible.
So, I press on with awareness.  With speaking out at every opportunity.  Here is another awareness article from the Roanoke Times that I was happy to contribute to.
In memory of Joe,
but really . . .
for those still alive.

At first, Dee Fleming assumed her son died of a heroin overdose since that’s the opioid that’s been dominating the public’s attention. When she received the death certificate, she was surprised to learn that her son had died from a combination of cocaine and fentanyl, an opiate painkiller 50 times more potent than heroin and 100 times more potent than morphine.

After years of relatively stable numbers of cocaine overdoses in Virginia, in 2016, deaths increased 40 percent over the year before. In 2016 and 2017, fentanyl was implicated in more than 54 percent of cocaine deaths.

Read the full article by Amy Friedenberger at The Roanoke Times

Filed Under: Featured Posts, In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: awareness, cocaine, death, grief, overdose, Roanoke Times

Voices of Addiction & Recovery Symposium

June 29, 2018 By Dee Leave a Comment

I was grateful to participate in the Voices of Addiction & Recovery Symposium. Co-hosted by the Windmore Foundation for the Arts, it’s goal was to share the challenges that someone with addiction faces and the reality that there is hope – recovery is possible.

Ralisha Banks reads a poem she wrote titled “She is Me”. It’s raw honesty impacted listeners.

The Symposium included a panel discussion with Culpeper Police Captain Tim Chilton, local Medication Assisted Treatment provider Dr. DeRoo, Prevention Specialist Alan Rasmussen with the Rappahannock Rapidan Community Services, and myself, representing Culpeper Overdose Awareness and families who’ve lost a loved one to addiction.

Rebecca Fleming reads the poem “My-Master” at the Voices of Addiction and Recovery Symposium

 

 

 

Interspersed among panel discussions were readings of poetry that convey the struggle and depth of pain addiction brings. Community member Ralisha Banks read a poem she authored, “She Is Me,” sharing her experience of growing up in a home with abuse and drug addiction, a pattern that showed up in her own adult life.  Her words were the most powerful of the night.

A display of art made by folks in recovery or still struggling with drug abuse was on display, and community resources were on hand for everyone to take.

Read the full story by Allison Brophy Champion at The Culpeper Star Exponent.

*All photos by Allison Brophy Champion

Filed Under: In The News, Our Blog Tagged With: addiction, hope, MAT, recovery

Trail of Tears

June 24, 2018 By Dee Leave a Comment

Trail of Tears: Finding Hope and Healing

ELKTON—Heather Starbuck is on a journey. A young woman from Colorado, she is now passing through Virginia as she hikes the entire length of the Appalachian Trail. Alone and far from home out here in Shenandoah National Park, the purpose of her journey gives her the strength and courage to endure the trail’s hardships. Heather is hiking the Appalachian Trail to raise awareness about opioid addiction and the precious lives that are being lost to overdoses every day.

Heather Starbuck with Dee & John Fleming at the peak of Bearfence on the Appalachian Trail

And each lost life is precious.

Heather knows firsthand the devastating pain of losing a loved one to addiction. Her fiancé Matt died of a heroin overdose back in September. A mere six months later, she began this trek in his memory. There is no doubt that Matt is with her every step of the way.

Along the way, from Georgia to Maine, she is visiting various rehabilitation and transitional programs, and meeting with people who have experienced this same pain and loss—yet are working to bring change. Somehow, she found me on the internet as she was mapping out her trip, we connected, and I’ve been looking forward to meeting ever since.

I lost my 23-year-old son Joseph to an overdose of cocaine/fentanyl in October and started a Facebook group, Culpeper Overdose Awareness, with a goal similar to Heather’s, to raise awareness of the opioid problem in Culpeper and help find solutions. I was honored to join her for a small portion of her hike, along with my husband and some friends from the Restore Culpeper group. We met Tuesday at our planned spot, the Bearfence Trail, which has special meaning to my family. It is the last trail we hiked as a family before Joe died, and where we held a memorial hike in his memory.

Joseph Fleming at the peak of Bearfence just months before his overdose death. He now permanently rests here and the family hosts a memorial hike to the peak every year on the anniversary of his death.

On the trail we instantly fell in step with each other. Once perfect strangers, our hearts blended, each fully understanding the other’s pain and purpose. She talked about Matt and I talked about Joe. We discussed the shame and stigma that deters people from getting help, the mental health issues like depression and anxiety that often go hand in hand with substance use, and the need to see those struggling with addiction as sons, daughters, mothers, fathers – to see them as people who have value and are loved and needed.

Heather has created a nonprofit in hopes of “flipping the script” on how people struggling with addiction are viewed. The Matt Adams Foundation for Opioid Recovery gives grants for holistic rehabilitation centers and transitional programs for those on their path to recovery. Heather wants to not only spread awareness, “but more importantly, compassion and solidarity to those in recovery.”

Heather is an inspiration to everyone who hears her story or meets her along the trail. She refuses to allow things to stay as they are. Instead, she is spreading a message of hope, and sharing Matt’s story so that the wall of stigma that keeps so many people separated from treatment can be taken apart brick by brick. This cause she hikes for has given her grief a place, given it a voice. Under any circumstances walking the Appalachian Trail takes enormous courage and determination, but Heather has had to face some extreme weather conditions in Virginia with unprecedented amounts of rainfall, and high temperatures with a heat index of well over 100. But her cause keeps her going, giving her the strength to continue taking each step.

My hope for change is not as broad as Heather’s—my sights are only set on the community of Culpeper. Last year, Culpeper had some of the highest overdose numbers in the state of Virginia. Narcan is helping, lives have been saved and our number of deaths reduced, but it’s not a long term solution.

Access to treatment must be improved if we want to make any kind of progress. There are many barriers to treatment: cost, job loss, time away from family, lack of recovery facilities, but one of the biggest is the stigma they face. I don’t have the power to change most of those barriers, but I can help break down the stigma. We all can help with that. Addiction in our community has to become a normal part of our dialogue because like it or not, it’s affecting the lives of countless Culpeper families, and no solutions will be found if we continue to look the other way.

It might be too late for Heather’s Matt, and too late for my Joe, but it’s not too late for someone struggling right here today. And those are exactly the people Heather Starbuck is trying to help.

Her website: mattspurplebandana.org allows visitors the opportunity to track her progress, read the trek blog, and most importantly, to get to know Matt. It takes no time at all to recognize what a great guy he was! Heather’s journey is our journey. Because don’t we all want to help our fellow man and make our community a better place?

Her cause is worth fighting for, LIFE is worth fighting for.

*Originally published in the Culpeper Star Exponent

Filed Under: Our Blog Tagged With: advocacy, awareness

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