Culpeper Overdose Awareness

Dee

The Pain of Stigma

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I’ve always known that stigma exists. 

Since Joe died and I chose to speak about his overdose publicly, I have learned not to be shocked by the insensitive (and sometimes hateful) comments on social media about those struggling with addiction.

But what I experienced today took it to a whole new level.

After reading an article in the Orange County Review where I shared Joe’s story, a man came into my workplace to speak with me.  He shared about losing his daughter in a car accident.  About how the pain of losing her has never lessened even though she has been gone for a very long time.  I listened – totally understanding that this kind of loss can never be fully healed this side of heaven.

But then – he began to speak of my son.
He said “Doing drugs is pretty stupid”
I agreed, “Yes it is”
“Well,” he said
“I think maybe that’s nature’s way of weeding out the weak ones”

I’m glad I was in shock because if not, I have no idea how I would have responded.
Apparently, because it was drugs that killed my Joe and not a car accident – or a disease – his death wasn’t as tragic – wasn’t worthy of our reflection and sorrow.

So, if I were to apply his logic:
We should be thankful people die in car accidents because that helps get all the bad drivers off the road – right?
We should be thankful people die of disease so they don’t pass along their “weak” disease prone DNA – right?

No one would ever believe those things – yet we do when it comes to addiction.

How does someone reach the conclusion that they don’t deserve to live?
I believe it happens when we lose sight of our most basic human mandate:
LOVE one another. 

So, to that man who told me, to my face, that my son’s death of a drug overdose was “nature’s way of weeding out the weak ones” . . . . I have something to say to you:
I say thank you.
When I am being swallowed by my grief, I will think of you.
When I am weary, I will think of you.
When I doubt myself, I will think of you.
When I am discouraged, I will think of you.

Thank you for reminding me of why I do what I do.
Thank you for reminding me there is still so much work to be done.
Thank you for giving me clarity as I walk this path.
Thank you for giving me more courage, more determination, and more will to continue on.
Thank you for reminding me to dig deep and find the good in my pain.
Thank you for reminding me to see you through the eyes of God.
Thank you for straightening my spine and helping me remember why I’m here.
Thank you for reminding me that I am strong, and will not be diverted.

I am praying for you.
I pray that the love of our Heavenly Father overwhelms your heart and your mind, revealing to you that Jesus, the Good Shepherd, sought out the weak in His flock and carried them – carried them! close to His chest.
So, for me, I choose weakness.   Any day.   No Question.
For me, I choose LOVE.

EPiC continues efforts to educate, understand addiction issues

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I was privileged to share Joe’s story with the Epidemic Intelligence Council (EpIC) . . .

EPiC was developed by Orange County Department of Social Services Director Crystal Hale in an attempt to bring together people from a cross-section of different disciplines and professions within the community to discuss the opioid epidemic.

“We know there is a problem and things are being done, but I think capturing what exactly is being done and identifying what’s not being done might be a good start,” Hale said.

The average age of patients for all overdose calls in Orange County is 40 years old, and the average age range of deaths due to opioids in the county is 35 to 44.

According to a map produced by the Virginia Department of Health, Orange, Culpeper and Fauquier counties have the highest fentanyl and/or heroin overdose mortality rates in the state.

Read the full article from the Orange County Review HERE

Toxicology Results

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Cocaine laced with fentanyl killed Culpeper man – not heroin

Now three months after his death, we have received Joseph’s toxicology results from the medical examiner’s office.
Honestly, I was shockedby the results: cocaine/fentanyl poisoning.  The assumption was that Joseph died because of heroin. But none was found in his system.  Fentanyl is everywhere, it can be in anything.  Read the full story HERE

 

Heroin Heartbreak Article

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Heroin heartbreak: Culpeper mom speaking out after son died from overdose

RAISING AWARENESS – BREAKING DOWN STIGMA – STARTING A CONVERSATION
That’s why I share about Joe, about his (unknown to me) addiction, about his death.
It’s not easy to say “my son used drugs”, but its necessary.  And losing two young men I loved within days of each other made it all the more necessary . . . .

Dee Fleming holding a picture of her son Joe.

REVA—A pair of boyhood friends in their 20s recently died from heroin overdoses within days of each other in Culpeper—a county that officials describe as being at the epicenter of the region’s persistent opioid scourge.

One young man, age 24, worked and had his own business, but had struggled with addiction before it took his life. He left behind a family struggling with the loss.

The other young man—23-year-old Joe Fleming, his friend since they went to youth group together—worked two jobs and had a family and friends who loved him, including his mother, who now wants to break the stigma of opioid addiction impacting families here and everywhere. Dee Fleming intends to cast a light in a dark place.

“I feel a deep burden to talk about these kids,” said the 47-year-old mother, wife and local librarian. “I feel like the more we talk about it and are open about it, the more somebody will say, ‘Yeah, I’m struggling,’ because I think there is such a shame attached to it. We just have to break that down and be willing to let this be a normal part of our conversations because it is a normal part of so many lives.”

Read the full article by Allison Brophy Champion at the Free Lance Star